


All Mary's Boys

by Mischel



Series: Supernatural s12 Codas [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bunker, Cas needs a hug, Castiel's POV, Coda, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean's POV, Episode: s12e09 First Blood, Family, Love, M/M, Mary loves all her boys, Mary's POV, Waiting, coda fanfic, hand holding, scene in the car
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9501656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischel/pseuds/Mischel
Summary: Just a few scenes. Castiel waiting in the bunker for anything to happen (in Dean's room), Dean seeing Castiel again after 6 weeks and then the whole scene after Billie but with more Destiel. I hope you like it.





	

Castiel doesn't know how long he's been sitting in the library. All he knows is that he doesn't know how to find Sam and Dean and that nothing he's found in the library helped so far. He couldn't even find the vampires in Missouri. He is even more useless than when Sam and Dean are around. And he hates it. He hates every second.

6 weeks, 2 days and 12 hours.

It feels like an eternity.

And then suddenly his phone rings. His eyes widen and he looks down, only to find out that it's a new voicemail. From an unknown number. Meaning, it's _not_ Dean. He unlocks the screen and plays it, half expecting it to be Crowley changing his mind and deciding to help him after all, or Mary telling him she has news and knows where her boys are.

It's Mary.

"Castiel, it's me." Cas sighs and clasps his hands together, listening to her voice. "I'm just calling to... You don't have to worry about that thing in Missouri. I'm handling it."

The message ends and Castiel hides his face in his palms. Nothing is happening. Nothing is changing. It's all the same. He's still sitting in the library and he still doesn't know how to find Sam and Dean and the time doesn't stop.

6 weeks, 2 days, 12 hours and 26 minutes.

He can feel every second, and it's killing him.

So he stands up, and does the thing he kept doing every day for the past few weeks, every time he felt miserable or useless, even when he knew Dean probably wouldn't like it. But at this point, Cas doesn't even care. He needs to feel him, and so he walks through the halls of the bunker and stops in front of Dean's door. He opens it and walks inside, taking a deep breath as he takes a look around. He can almost hear Dean's voice from all of his memories of this place. But it's all in his head and it's going to stay there until they find them.

They _need_ to find them.

He watches the ceiling, counting every second, as he's lying in Dean's bed. This is something he's sure he's never done before. Lay in Dean's bed. It's comfortable and warm undernearth his body and he can smell Dean everywhere around him. It's as if he was there with him – something Cas wishes would happen.

But even after he closes his eyes and opens them again, Daen isn't there with him and the room is empty. And the time goes by.

6 weeks, 2 days, 12 hours and 43 minutes.

He almost doesn't remember the last time he was so long without them. And Dean hasn't even prayed to him yet. Castiel does his best to try to _not_ take it as a sign that Dean's dead. He can't be dead. If he was, Castiel wouldn't have a reason to live anymore.

And then his phone rings again.

Castiel keeps his eyes closed and sighs. And then he realizes – this time it's not a voicemail notification. He can hear the phone and it's still ringing, vibrating against the table. Cas is out of Dean's bed in seconds, running back to the librarty where he's left the phone – such a stupid mistake. He should have taken it there with him.

When he finally reaches it, he's almost afraid it would stop ringing the moment he puts the phone to his ear. He doesn't even look at the number that's calling, he just accepts the phonecall and puts it to his ear and stops breathing and listens.

And then he realizes – what if it's only Mary again? What if she just wants to tell him about the case in Missouri? Tell him that she's successfully found the vampire responsible and killed him or them, proving that Castiel is useless even to her – the last Winchester he has left.

"What?" Castiel answers, angry at himself that he got his hopes up.

But then he hears him. The most beautiful voice his father had ever created, the voice of the Righteous man, the freckled human he fell in love with – Dean Winchester. And it feels so good to hear him again.

"Cas?"

"Dean?" Castiel's eyes get wide and he swallows.

"Hey, buddy. Long time." He can almost hear the hint of a smile in Dean's voice.

"What- what happened? Where... where are you?" He's desperate. He needs to know the answer, he needs to know he can save them, wherever they are and whoever took them away from him.

"You wouldn't belive me, and I have no clue, uh-"

"Got something." Castiel hears Sam in the distance. "Alright, looks like that's Elk Mountain, which makes _that_ Longs Peak."

"Okay, looks like we're in Colorado." Dean tells him. But Colorado is a big state. How can Castiel find them there alone? He needs to call Mary.

"In Rocky Mountain National Park." Sam says. "Uh, if we head north, we should hit State Route 34. Eventually."

"Did you get that?" Dean asks him.

"Yes."

"Alright, meet us there."

"Wait, where?" Castiel asks, frowning.

"Just drive along the road and you'll see us." Dean tell him. He probably doesn't have a lot of time and this is the best plan they can come up with. In that case, Castiel knows he will do his best to find them and help them. "And Cas, the sooner the better. We're kinda on the clock here." Dean adds, confirming Castiel's worries. But wait... does that mean someone is after them?

"Wait, what does that-" But Castiel doesn't have time to finish his question. Dean ended the call and yet again, Castiel is alone in the library. But at least, this time he has something to do. He knows he can help them, and for that he'll need the last Winchester he has.

He quickly dials Mary's number and puts the phone back to his ear, waiting for her to pick up.

6 weeks, 2 days, 12 hours and 50 minutes. Soon he'll be with them again and every second won't feel like an eternity. Soon, he'll have Sam and Dean back and he will finally be able to forget about how long he hasn't seen them.

Because they're alive.

xoXÖXox

Once they leave the soldiers and their leaders at the cabin, it's back to the same – running. They won't follow them, but they might be stupid enough to call for backup and then they'd have another problem to take care of. Which is why they walk, and sometimes run. But since they've already been running almost the whole day without food, they're exhausted.

And perhaps being dead for an hour has also something to do with that.

But then it happens. They're running through the bushes and honestly, Dean's almost had enough, when suddenly a familiar voice calls his name.

"Sam! Dean!"

Dean looks up and immediately stops running. "Cas!" He says and wants to go give his best friend a hug, but Sam is faster and after saying Cas' name again, he's already putting his giant arms around him. Castiel's eyes never leave Dean though and for a moment Dean can't even believe he's seeing his face again. His beautiful and so, so sad face with tears in eyes. The look that says so many things – how much he missed them, how much he's happy to see them again and just how much they mean to him.

And then Sam notices their mom and runs to her accepting arms, while Dean lowers his gaze and walks over to Castiel, putting his arm on his shoulder and saying, "hey, buddy." Cas wraps his arms around Dean, taking a deep breath with his cheek pressed against Dean's neck and Dean squeezes back, looking at his mom with Sam. It's barely enough to show him how happy he is and how much he wants to hold him in his arms forever, but since his mom is right over there, he'll have to make do with this.

He's so happy again. But there's still something he hasn't told Cas and nor his mom and that's what keeps him back. He goes to hug his mother and closes his eyes, suddenly becoming aware that this is the last hug he'll ever get from her, and from Cas.

Because at the end of the day, he is the Winchester that has to go.

After they meet the British Men of Letter, Dean isn't very happy, and even though he doesn't want to, his mind stays focused on something else. It's only a few minutes to midnight – his last moments of being alive and he's lucky to be sitting next to Castiel in the backseat. That's why he looks down at Cas' hand that is just... _resting_ there between them, almost begging him to be touched.

He doesn't do anything though. Not now. He can't give Cas something and then take it away a few minutes later. Or is just a few minutes better than _never_? Dean closes his eyes for a few seconds and then looks at his mom.

Soon it'll be time to say goodbye. Mary glances back at both him and Castiel and then continues driving her car. "So wait, you're hunting?" He asks, not really knowing how to say goodbye and so he continues in the conversation they already ended almost ten minutes ago.

"A little bit," Mary tells him.

"Yeah, I knew you couldn't stay away." Sam smiles. But then the radio turns on and the static starts crackling and Dean knows that his time is over. And he hasn't even said goodbye yet. "It's time." Sam turns to him.

Dean doesn't say anything. He just slowly looks at Cas' hand again and then at his face and he isn't smiling anymore. Castiel frowns at him and in that moment, Dean regrets everything he didn't do in the past half an hour in the car. Because Cas has been sitting there, right next to him, the entire time and Dean didn't do _anything._ All he needed to do was move his hand a little bit to the left and put it over Castiel's hand that was right next to him. That would be evertything he needed. Just one last... touch.

But it's too late now. Dean looks down and away, quietly waiting until the car stops moving.

"What's happening?" Mary asks once they're all out of the car. Both she and Cas surely realized there's something they don't know and they demand answers. But before Dean can answer, Billie already answers for him.

"Yeah, Dean." And she's just standing there, pleased to finally see one Winchester go for good. "'Sup?"

And Dean and Sam are both still so silent.

"Billie?" Mary asks.

"The reaper?" Castiel adds, frowning as well. It pains Dean to see this. Neither of them know yet, but they're beginning to suspect something and soon the knowledge will break their hearts. Or maybe it won't. He's never been the best Winchester after all, which is why he's going with Billie and not Sam.

.

.

.

"Mom!"

"Don't!"

"I love you." Mary says with tears in eyes, clutching the gun in her trembling fingers against her temple. Dean can't believe it's happening. He can't watch his mom die, not again, he can't-

An angel blade pierces through Billie's chest and she starts glowing, making Dean close his eyes. When he opens them again, she's on he ground and Castiel's standing over her, looking terrified for a second and then just exhausted and sad.

"Cas, what have you done?" Dean asks, standing up.

"What had to be done." Cas answers. And then he looks at him with tears in eyes and Dean can see it, how broken and exhausted Castiel is. He can almost feel it, and he doesn't dare to speak because he knows Castiel hasn't finished yet. "You know this world, this sad doomed little world, it needs you." And God, his voice is shaking. "It need every last Winchester it can get and I will not let you die. I won't let _any_ of you die." He shakes his head. "And I won't let you sacrifice yourself. _You mean too much to me_." He stops looking at Mary in that moment and looks back at Dean, and Dean knows exactly what he means. But then Castiel looks back at Mary and adds, "to everything. Yeah, you made a deal. You made a _stupid_ deal, and I broke it... you're welcome."

They stand there in utter silence, until eventually Mary turns around and looks at Dean. And before Dean can react, he knows she can see every emotion perfectly on his face – shock, sorrow, wishfulness, the need to pull Cas closer and hold him in his arms until they're back in the bunker.

But then she turns back and says, "thank you, Castiel."

"Yeah, thanks." Sam nods and follows his mom back into the car.

Only Dean hasn't said anything and he's still standing there, looking into Castiel's eyes who's looking back at him. Their eyes lock and Dean can't look away, he just can't. Because now there's Castiel, the angel he fell in love with and never had the courage to tell him, his brave and handsome angel, and he's looking into his eyes and Dean can't stop thinking about what consequences on cosmic scale he'll have to face.

Eventually, Cas stops frowning and looks down.

"Cas," Dean finally mumbles and moves forward, hesitantly stopping in front of his angel. "Thanks." He says. "Thanks for everything, you're right." He adds then. "It was a stupid deal, and we should have thought of a different way to-"

"You could have prayed to me, Dean." Cas says, and in that moment, Dean understands. Not only has he been silent for 6 weeks, he even contacted Billie instead of Castiel and never told him they were alive. And there was no excuse for that.

Cas is still looking at the ground, but when he finally looks up, the tears in his eyes are threatening to fall. "6 weeks and 2 days. Only one word, Dean. One word. That was all I would have needed." He tells him. "One word to let me know you were alive."

And there's nothing Dean can think of saying than a simple, "I'm sorry." Because he really should have just told Cas they were alive. He shouldn't have just... _kept_ thinking about whether Cas would even hear his prayer when he knew Cas's wings were damaged and he didn't have all his powers back, he should have just tried and never give up.

"I'm sorry," Dean repeats.

"I didn't even know if you were alive." Cas tells him. "I didn't know where to find you or _how_ to find you, all I had was Mary, who didn't know anything either. Crowley didn't care if you were gone or alive, and I didn't know, I just... Dean, _I didn't know_."

The tears in Cas' eyes finally spill and Dean wraps his arms around him, giving them both the hug they deserve instead of the short one after they found each other in the forest. He doesn't even care that they're standing in front of his mom's car and that both his mom and Sam are sitting in the front, probably seeing everything he's doing. He just doesn't care anymore. He hurt Cas by sending him away with that girl, he hurt him again by not praying to him and instead reaching out to Billie and he didn't give him the reunion he deserved after they met again.

He knows that if he had prayed to Cas, he would have had to call Billie anyway because even if Cas had heard him, he would have never heard Cas' reply. But that doesn't matter because all he can think about now are Cas' fingers clutching the back of his prisoner uniform and his own fingers tangled in Cas' short hair and Cas' cheek pressed against his neck and the fact that he closed his eyes and doesn't want to open them again.

"I'm sorry." He tells him again.

And Cas nods, just barely, but he does. Dean can feel it. And then Cas pulls away, glancing behind him at the car. "We should probably go," he tells him. Then he sighes and heads back into the car, Dean slowly following him and getting inside from the other side of the car. They both close the door and yet again, there's silence in the car.

"You both okay?" Sam eventually asks, clearing his throat.

And both Dean and Cas answer at the same time, replying with "Yes," and "Yeah". Then Mary starts the car again and they continue on their way home. But this time, Dean changes something. He looks over at Cas, still feeling guilty because of how stupid he was, but in hopes that his angel would forgive him, he carefully moves his hand closer to Castiel.

Cas registers the movement immediately, looking down at Dean's hand and making him blush, which Dean hates, so he looks out of the window instead, waiting for any reaction with his eyes closed.

And then he feels Cas' fingers slowly wrapping around his hand, moving his thumb up and down on the back of Dean's palm. And Dean smiles, finally looking at his angel and waiting for him to smile as well. When he does, he hesitantly entwines their fingers and squeezes.

He looks up and sees Mary eyeing him in the mirror with a little smile on her face. And he's never been happier because they're all here, safe. His family.

Now all he needs is for Sam to turn the radio on to make the ride less silent and awkward so they can be home as soon so possible because... well, because he needs the privacy of his room to show Cas properly how he really feels and how sorry he is.

xoXÖXox

Mary parks the car in the bunker and gets out, closing the door and smiling at her boys. Sam and Dean. Then she looks at Castiel, who's still holding hands with her eldest son and her smile widens. They are all her boys. All three of them. The Winchesters and their angel.

"Mom?" Dean asks when he turns around and notices she hasn't moved away from the car. She looks at him and their eyes lock and she knows what he wants to hear, what he needs to hear. She could see that in his expression right after what Castiel said after he killed Billie. Dean needs Castiel, and right now, he needs his mom too. "Are you-"

"I'm staying." She finishes for him.

"Wait, like for real?" Sam asks her with his eyes wide with happiness.

And she nods. "Yes. For real." Then she walks over to them and lets Sam throw his big arm around her shoulders, with Dean's hand around her waist from the other side, and they enter the hall together, finally going home.

There was no one else who could take care of her boys after all, and make sure they don't make another stupid deal or get taken in the first place. So that's why she was staying with them. With her boys. Including Castiel.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm not native speaker. I hope you liked it, and sorry if it's the same as other codas, I haven't had time to read any of them yet. Oh, and I'm not sure if Cas has his wings or if he can hear prayers or anything, so if what I wrote is wrong, please let me know XD


End file.
